New School Year, Old Worries... Managing School Anxiety For Kids
September means that it’s back to the books for our children and teenagers. For many, going back to school can be difficult. Many children worry about new teachers, who they will sit by at lunch, if they will be able to complete assignments, or make friends. It is important to understand that all children (and adults) experience some amount of anxiety at times. Anxiety is a very normal reaction to stress—we get surges of adrenaline, worry, sweat, and experience an increased heart rate to help us deal with difficult or overwhelming situations. For some children, however, anxiety can go beyond these typical symptoms and begin to negatively impact relationships, participation in extracurricular activities, and school attendance or performance. So, as a parent, how do we know when these worries are normal? Or when we might need to seek some additional help to assist our child in managing their worry and fears?
According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), anxiety disorders are the most common mental health issue in the United States and affect 25% of children between the ages of 13-18. Given these statistics, it is realistic to assume that you either have a child, or know a child, that is struggling with an anxiety disorder. As parents or caregivers, you are often the first ones to recognize when a child’s fears or worries have progressed into something more serious. It is important to understand that a variety of things can cause an anxiety disorder. “Anxiety disorders develop from a complex set of risk factors, including genetics, brain chemistry, personality, and life events (NIMH).” Additionally, anxiety can present itself in a number of different ways. Your anxious child may cling, cry, have temper tantrums, experience insomnia, or complain of headaches or stomach pains. Your anxious teenager may become nervous, irritable, have trouble concentrating, or withdraw from friends and family. Anxious children and teens can also be very quiet and well-behaved, with a strong for desire to please others and achieve perfection in all areas of his or her life. In whatever way the symptoms present themselves, when anxiety interferes with activities of normal daily living for a period of time lasting more than two weeks, the presence of an anxiety disorder may be considered.
If you feel that your child may have an anxiety disorder, it is advisable to seek professional help. A professional will help your child change the way that they think and behave in response to anxiety. If left untreated, anxiety may lead to depression, substance abuse, self-harm, and a decreased quality of life. As a parent or caregiver, you also have a key role in helping your child manage his or her anxiety. Here are three things that you can do:
1 - Talk about it. Sometimes we fall victim to the notion that by talking about something, we make it worse. Nothing could be farther from the truth. By talking to our children about anxiety, we can normalize their experience and feelings. Encourage your child to talk to you about their worries and fears. Children will often come to a parent seeking reassurance. It is easy to simply say, “Don’t worry about it!” or “It will be fine!” These statements are often unhelpful to a child with anxiety and can leave them feeling unheard and unvalidated. Instead, help them learn how to problem solve by asking questions, such as, “If (fill in the blank) happens, what could you do to handle that?”
2 - Educate. Educate yourself and your child about anxiety, how it works, the symptoms (physical and mental), and ways to cope and manage with the uncomfortable feelings that accompany anxiety. Providing them with accurate information lets them know that they are not alone and that nothing is “wrong” with them. There are countless resources available, here are just a few that many of my clients have found to be helpful:
Website: www.anxietybc.com
Book: “What To Do When You Worry Too Much” by Dawn Huebner
App: MindShift
3 - Establish good practices of self-care for yourself and for your child. While these practices may seem like common sense, it always surprises me how often these habits get pushed to the side; things to do if we “have the time.” When managing anxiety, it is vital to establish a good bedtime routine, get adequate rest, place limits on screen time, make exercise a habit, allow for downtime, experience real connections with others daily, spend time outside, eat healthy food throughout the day, and drink plenty of water. You teach your child the importance of these practices when they see you prioritizing them as part of your daily routine.
If you feel that your child may be struggling with an anxiety disorder, please reach out to us. With the right help, children and teens can learn how to cope with their worries and fears, gain confidence in their ability to maneuver change, and face their fears. We would love to be a part of helping you and your child learn the skills and tools necessary to successfully manage anxiety.